NYJeff:

We've been married twenty-three years now and occasionally I wonder if I have any business giving advice about courtship when our own occurred in a slower and more contemplative time. It's just that in the really difficult times over those twenty years - and if a couple haven't had those then they probably haven't had much of a marriage - I was very glad, we both were, of the strength of our simple friendship, which we had nurtured in those days of slow letter writing. We were glad we had discussed "everything under the sun" and had learned to love each other in a way distinct from sexual or romantic passion. These latter wax and wane as time goes by but the underlying closeness of our friendship, built up for so long, was much less affected by traumatic events.

Perhaps I am indeed advising the impossible when I suggest slowing down - perhaps the present day methods simply won't allow it anymore. Love is big, mighty big, but I am glad we protected ours with rational thought and friendship.