In some ways the internet age is a blessing but the imperative of speed it places on people can cause emotions to reach a crisis before a foundation of friendship has been established. I wrote to Raquel for four years before we married. I even visited her during my annual leave two years into our correspondence without any irrevocable romantic element developing. There was romance, be assured of that, but we were both slow developing, long lasting types.

How much do you really know about each other ? Can you face each other over the breakfast table for the rest of your lives ? A Filipina of genuine character desires nothing less than total commitment in every sense of the word. Have you excluded the possibility that your attachment to her originates from loneliness, yours and perhaps hers, rather than a desire to settle down ? A certain amount of apprehension is normal in an international relationship, it would be hard to have it otherwise, but fear about everything is not generally something a Filipina seeks in a man.

So really I only have the same unpopular advice I give to most such impassioned situations - slow down and think. Once the logical foundation is there you can let yourself fall completely without fear. The fear just might be an indication things are happening a tad quickly - you know, the good old unconscious mind doing its job.